


something loving

by latestars



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, basically jinyoung wrote mayday and jb writes prove it, know what i mean, turbulence era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 03:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10800639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latestars/pseuds/latestars
Summary: Jinyoung doesn't know how much Jaebum loves him until Jaebum tries to prove it.[cross-posted from the got_hyung fic exchange so if you read it there then you can skip this]





	something loving

**Author's Note:**

> when i picked this prompt, i intended for it to be a lot longer but my time management skills are terrible so i kept it short like this,,

Jinyoung tries to save time for himself when he can. It keeps him sane, grounded in a life as hectic as his. He listens to the soft crash of a wave, slips a new unmarked book in his bag, and follows the raindrops sliding down the window pane with his eyes.

But being alone is different from being lonely and Jinyoung realizes he is no longer either of these things. He has his members now, and he has Jaebum.

Jaebum pulls him in by the nape in front of the camera, flashes his thousand watt smile at him on stage, and drapes his arm around him at fansigns without caring what any of it means. Jinyoung likes that Jaebum doesn’t act that different from who he is. What you see is what you get and Jinyoung prefers that over the idol image he himself used to cling onto too much.

Jaebum slides his hands into the back pockets of his jeans when no one is around, leaves him cute little notes on the pages of the book he’s reading, and finds a new film for them to watch together. Jaebum is genuine, fierce, and quiet with his love — he is everything all at once.

Jinyoung is drowning hopelessly and he doesn’t think Jaebum knows it.

 

 

 

The glow of the bedside lamp reflects onto Jaebum’s profile, softening his otherwise sharp features. His eyebrows are furrowed deeply and steadily as they tend to be when it comes to his music. Jinyoung wants to reach over and smooth them with his lips.

His head is resting on Jaebum’s thighs as he reads the latest book his fans gifted him. It’s bad for his eyes and he should get up to turn the light on but he’s too comfortable to care. He sets the book down on his chest and looks over at Jaebum leaning against the bed frame and writing in his notebook.

“What kind of song is it?”

The pen in Jaebum’s hand stills. His eyes glance up to meet Jinyoung’s over the notebook and a slight smile graces his lips. “It’s a secret.”

Jinyoung pouts softly. “Why?”

Jaebum’s chuckle is deep and rumbles against his throat. Jinyoung feels it in his bones.

“You know why.”

Jinyoung thinks no, he doesn’t. What goes on in Jaebum’s head tends to stay locked up in there and Jinyoung wants to grab him by the imaginary collar and shake him loose.

“Do I really?” Jinyoung blurts out loud. It echoes in his head but Jaebum must’ve felt it too because the pen in his hand stills once again before it’s tossed aside along with his notebook.

Jinyoung lets out a small startled sound when Jaebum leans over to catch his lips, slow and heavy. The book on his chest gets knocked away and he brings his hands up to cup Jaebum’s face against his own.

“You will,” Jaebum mumbles against his lips, one hand reaching down to grab Jinyoung’s hip and the other caressing his cheek as he gradually melts Jinyoung’s thoughts away.

 

 

 _Our radiant first flight_  
_There were eyes on us and shadow-like hopes_  
_They all turned away because we couldn’t live up to them_  
_I lightly smile but_  
_My insides are twisted without anyone knowing about it_

 

When Jinyoung reveals Mayday, the producers praise him and the members all admire his lyrics. Jaebum gives him a small pat on the back... and then nothing.

Jaebum’s expected lack of response doesn’t matter but what _does_ matter is the way Mark’s eyes flicker over to Jaebum not once, but twice, when the members are reading the lyrics in the recording studio.

Mark corners him in his room later that night when everyone splits up — Jinyoung prepares himself for the worst.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jinyoung says. He stares stubbornly into Mark’s own unwavering eyes, but inside, he can feel his defenses begin to crumble.

“The others can think you wrote it for the group but I know it’s about Jaebum.”

Jinyoung stays silent, teeth rolling the inside of his lower lip as Mark waits for an answer. When it doesn’t come, Mark sighs and gives him one last look before turning to leave.

Jinyoung’s fist clenches, knuckles turning white in his palms. This is against what he and Jaebum promised, but the walls are breaking and Jinyoung is tired of hiding something he never could in the first place.

“He wants to keep it between us.” Jinyoung says quietly. Mark stops in his tracks and turns around, eyes full of confusion softening into understanding and suddenly Jinyoung is grateful it is Mark who is the first to know. “He thinks it’ll change the group.”

Mark sighs, closing the door behind him and they move to sit on the edge of the bed.

“He’s always been a private person,” Mark says thoughtfully. “You both are.”

Jinyoung knows it’s true. He and Jaebum are similar in that way, but he never wanted to hide this from the people he cares so much about.

“I wanted you guys to at least know,” Jinyoung mutters.

Mark pulls Jinyoung closer and leans Jinyoung’s head against his shoulder. “I get it but it does change things whether any of us care or not.”

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything to that. He _knows_ it changes things but unlike Jaebum, he doesn’t think they’ll be that significant.

A moment passes and Jinyoung feels lighter from the weight off his chest. Mark promises to keep things a secret but Jinyoung trusts Mark enough to not say anything.

“Why’d you write Mayday anyway?”

Jinyoung moves his head away to look at him. “I wrote it when he injured his back and realized we couldn’t do our first concert together.”

Mark’s eyes widen in surprise. “You’ve been together that long?”

“Since our first win on MCountdown,” Jinyoung explains and Mark actually laughs in disbelief. Jinyoung doesn’t know how they’ve managed to keep it a secret for so long either.

“You made the first move?” Mark asks with an eyebrow raised.

Jinyoung smiles knowingly. He doesn’t respond and Mark doesn’t need one. Anyone who knows them both knows the truth.

 

 

 _I am still afraid of this dark path_  
_I don’t know where I’m going but_  
_If you can hold my hand_  
_Whatever I do, wherever I end up_  
_Whatever is front of me_  
_I will fly together with you oh_

 

 

Magazine shoots with only him and Jaebum remind him of JJ Project days except he no longer has to imagine what Jaebum’s lips would feel like on his neck.

Jaebum is broader now, thicker and less clumsy. His thoughts dig deeper than they should for someone his age and Jinyoung is still in love.

They sit side by side on the bench in the middle of the set while they wait for the photographer to finish reviewing the photos he just took of them. It’s quiet and easy as it always is when they have a solo activity together. There’s no commotion, no worrying about how the other members will do or act.

“What do you think about?” Jinyoung asks him. “When you’re doing photo shoots.”

Jaebum shrugs, eyes observing the photographer work the computer. “Nothing in particular.”

Jinyoung hums in acknowledgement and looks away. He watches the stylists enter with the next outfits for the shoot and proceed to lay them flat on a table.

“I think about random things,” Jaebum continues. “Sometimes, I think about you.”

Jinyoung chuckles softly because he doesn’t know which one is true. He doesn’t think they can co-exist peacefully for someone like Jaebum.

“Why would you think about me during photo shoots?”

Jaebum’s eyes close as he tips his head back against the bench. Jinyoung traces the slope of his nose with his eyes, stopping when Jaebum’s eyes flutter open and peer into his.

“I’m always thinking about you,” Jaebum says and Jinyoung laughs louder this time, because that _— that_ he knows for certain is not true.

 

 

 

Jackson plops down on the couch next to Jinyoung, almost knocking over the mug in Jinyoung’s hand in the process. Jinyoung curses a little and sets it on the table.

“Does this mean Jaebum hyung has three songs on the album?”

Jinyoung nods, raising an eyebrow when Jackson’s lower lip juts out in response.

“He’s lucky,” Jackson says, sagging against the couch.

Jinyoung offers a sympathetic pat on the cheek. He only has one song on the album too, but it hurts less for him than it does for Jackson.

“What’s the song about?” Jackson asks as he throws his legs over Jinyoung’s lap.

Jinyoung grunts at the weight but doesn’t push him away. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“He won’t tell me,” Jackson says with a sigh.

Jinyoung doesn’t bat an eye at this. “Well, why would I know?”

“He tells you everything,” Jackson responds like it’s the obvious.

Maybe he _does_ know more than anyone else, but there is still a lot Jaebum keeps to himself that he won’t reveal. Jinyoung can read him as much as he wants, can use seven years of knowing each other to make a guess, but none of it matters when Jaebum still cannot express himself.

Jinyoung concludes he is cursed — he’s in love with someone who cannot consistently give him the thing he loves most.

 

 

 

When Jinyoung walks past Jackson and Jaebum’s shared room, he hears thumping and banging sounds mixed in with the echos of Jaebum’s loud voice. Jaebum and Jackson hardly ever get into fights, but when they do, it’s cold and lasts longer than it should.

He pushes the door wide open, expecting to see the two roommates in the midst of a shouting match, but instead, he sees a smug Jackson staring at a notebook in his hands while Jaebum stands behind him, struggling to pull it out of his grasp.

Jaebum turns around at the sound of his entrance but Jinyoung is too focused on Jackson, whose eyes are still trained on the notebook, gradually change his expression from one of triumph to one of amusement.

Jinyoung quickly realizes that the notebook Jackson is holding is Jaebum’s.

“Isn’t that — “

Jaebum’s cheeks are scarlet red on his rush to the doorway. He mutters a swift apology before grabbing the door and shutting it on Jinyoung, leaving him shocked, confused and forgotten.

 

 

 

Jackson knows. Jinyoung doesn’t know _what_ exactly but he assumes Jackson knows everything now. The relationship, the song, and what the song is about.

Jinyoung sees it in the way Jackson and Jaebum huddle closely together during practice. It’s mostly Jackson whispering excitedly while Jaebum listens, face ambiguous like he doesn’t care when he actually does.

Jinyoung distracts himself when Wooyoung and Junho drop by for a quick visit. He clings onto Wooyoung and laughs heartily at his wit. For a moment it works — Jinyoung even forgets they’re in the middle of learning the choreography for their new song.

Then he catches Jaebum’s dark eyes staring at him through the mirror and his laughter dies in his throat. Hands still clutching Wooyoung’s arm, he turns to glance at Jaebum who immediately looks away while Jackson, who is stuck to Jaebum’s side like glue, grins amusedly and winks at him.

Jackson definitely knows. Jinyoung hates that Jackson knows more than he does.

 

 

 _I keep wanting to go, just you and me_  
_I want to do everything, with you and me_  
_My head is full of you, I want to hug you now_

 

 

“Jinyoung?”

It’s the murmur of his name from Jaebum’s lips that finally wakes him up. Somehow, Jaebum had sneaked into his bed without disturbing his sleep. Jaebum is propped up on an elbow, looking down at him with his phone and earphones in his hand.

Jinyoung smiles sleepily at him and reaches up to push Jaebum’s bangs away from his face. They make him look more youthful, like it’s 2009 again, and Jaebum is only beginning to realize what it’s like to dream.

When his eyes adjust fully to the darkness, Jinyoung notices how nervous Jaebum looks. His eyes are scanning Jinyoung’s face for something he doesn’t know what and his hand is tightly clutching his phone.

“There’s so much I want to say to you but I never know how to,” Jaebum says quietly. “You deserve better.”

Jinyoung tries to lean up on his elbows, thinking this might turn into something complicated, but lays back down after Jaebum gently stops him with a hand on his chest.

“I wrote that song for you,” Jaebum confesses, plugging the earphones into his phone. “I wanted to surprise you and have you listen to it before I submit it.”

Jinyoung is, for the first time in a while, speechless. He watches as Jaebum gently places the earphones inside his ears and presses the play button on his phone.

A dark R&B melody flows through his ears, punctured by a mid-tempo beat. Jaebum’s voice is rich and sweet like honey but it’s the lyrics that have him blushing in the dark.

 

 _I hug you tightly so we can be closer_  
_So we can’t be apart_  
_I hope we can be closer to each other_  
_I hope that you understand my heart_

 _Little more Little more I want you baby_  
_Little more Little more one more step_  
_Little more Little more I want you baby_  
_Little more Little more one more step_

 

Jinyoung thinks it’s funny how someone’s strength and weakness can complement each other so holistically, how Jaebum can be so terrible at one thing yet so incredible at another and still manage to take his breath away. Jaebum doesn’t seem real, but he is, and he’s right here next to him, gazing at him like Jinyoung is the most beautiful thing to ever exist.

Jaebum pulls the earphones out of his ears when the last note ends and sets it aside along with his phone. He shifts closer to Jinyoung and wraps his arm loosely around Jinyoung’s waist, waiting for Jinyoung to collect his thoughts.

“What are you thinking?” Jaebum asks as he observes Jinyoung’s face.

“That you love me,” Jinyoung finally says and Jaebum’s face slowly breaks into a smile. “That you’re bad at expressing it.”

“I am,” Jaebum admits. “But I’m trying.”

Even this — Jaebum’s first declaration of love — isn’t straight from his mouth. Jinyoung doesn’t know when the exact words will happen, he doesn’t think it matters much anymore.

He grabs Jaebum down by the shirt and kisses him, smiling against his lips when he feels Jaebum’s hand slip under his shirt. He stops Jaebum’s hand with his own and breaks the kiss, laughing at the annoyed look Jaebum gives him after.

“We should sleep,” Jinyoung says. “We have an early start tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Jaebum sighs and takes his hand back out. He falls down next to Jinyoung and throws his arm back around Jinyoung’s waist, fitting himself into the crook between Jinyoung’s neck and shoulder.

Jinyoung stares blankly at Jaebum whose eyes are already closed next to him. “What are you doing?”

“You said we should sleep,” Jaebum murmurs, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“In our own separate beds,” Jinyoung reminds him, wondering what alternative universe he just entered. “They’ll see us in the morning.”

Jaebum tightens his hold around Jinyoung’s waist and inches even closer, breath tickling his neck. “Let them,” he mumbles and Jinyoung feels it then, an admission of willingness and dedication whispered in two simple words.

**Author's Note:**

> i wasn't sure if i wanted to post this here on ao3 since the era of what happens is turbulence era which is kinda a while ago now so i might delete this SORRY i know i delete my fics all the time asldkfj;a
> 
> also...u know i had to include the urbanlike shoot


End file.
